“Alis Volat Propriis...”

If you were to ask, “What is one thing you have learned over the last two months?”, I would say simply; “I learned how to fly.”

Yes, I know it sounds foolish and you’re thinking “How is this possible? What is she talking about? Humans can’t fly!” However, for the first time in years I feel truly and completely free, and dare I say, strong enough to spread my wings. This is quite the milestone for me as I look back on the tremendous hardships I’ve endured within the past year and a half. Let’s just say, it’s been a long time coming.

A wise woman once told me I would never be satisfied or content in life until I truly started living my life for me, completely on my own terms. At the time, I couldn’t comprehend this concept especially after spending much of my life trying to please everyone else. It is only after I found the courage to step back from all of the toxic people and relationships in my life that I was able to truly learn how to love myself, leading to tremendous growth.

So many women tend to forget. You are your own person and you are here to love, grow, experience, and live your life for yourself. You are not here to seek approval or fulfill anyone else but yourself. Of course, this is a brave choice to make because often times, it consists of doing so completely alone. But it is a choice that can only be made possible through the commitment to believe in yourself.

So what’s the secret you ask? Well here is my secret. I wanted peace so badly and to live freely on my own terms instead of seeking it through others, I sought all of these things within myself. I prayed everyday about it, woke up thinking about it, and spoke it into existence every single day. I engaged in things that I truly loved to do and surrounded myself with positive, loving people who truly wanted to see me happy. And one day, I finally woke up with joy and peace in my heart. I believed there was nothing in this world I could not accomplish and I was not afraid to go after what I wanted.

There is a phrase that goes “Alis Volat Propriis.” In Latin, this means “she flies with her own wings.” I love this phrase because it represents the strength that exists in flying throughout this world and soaring on your own. Whatever comes your way, you are strong and brave enough to handle it. You are powerful and you don’t need anything or anyone to reinforce your strength. Do not be afraid to let go of things or people that may be hindering you from embarking on this journey. It may hurt, but the love and peace you will hold within yourself will be just that much sweeter.

Take the necessary time to learn yourself, love yourself, and know yourself. At the end of the day, no one is going to look out for you and your emotions like you will.

So don’t be afraid. Alis Volat Propriis. Spread your wings ladies. What are you waiting on?

- Gabrielle

What's YOUR Hustle?

So after two weeks in Brooklyn, I’m convinced the state of New York is full of hustlas…not “hustlers” but hustlas…it’s that serious. They sleep, eat, drink their dreams daily. I have yet to meet someone who wasn’t about their money and peddling something or another, be it drugs, photography, newspapers, even earrings. And the crazy thing is, these people are all amazingly talented – I have so much respect for them. Take for instance SoundCheckLive, a monthly concert series of to-be-founds, and brainchild of my sister’s boyfriend, Brey King. He somehow manages to pack a club and hype grown men and women until they’re singing along to hilarious hooks like “Stop Lookin’ at My Moms!” from a thirteen year old with swagg bigger than he is, all while fueling the businesses of at least half of the audience. At his last show, I left not only with a pocket full of business cards, but a possible future internship with hands-down AMAZING jewelry maker AG of Made By AG, and a promise of a new signature scent by perfumist J Lani! What is it in the water over here that gives these people the confidence they need to market themselves to any and everyone?

And they’re definitely confident. The people over here are mad comfortable in their own skins and carry themselves like it’s their world and the rest of us are just living in it. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. In fact, I’m a little bit inspired. I think one of the artists at SoundCheckLive summed it up perfectly: “I’m a little bit conceited, yeah, I know. But if you don’t think you fine, ain’t nobody else gonna think so!!” The girl has a point. If you act like you KNOW you’re putting high quality products (or personality) into the world, people assume you’re established and you’re going to be better received. One successful reception after another builds up into a heaping helping of self-confidence, plus you’re making money and/or valuable contacts. My question: Why doesn’t everyone think like that? Why aren’t we using our own talents to our advantage?

I don’t know about you, but this summer, I’m taking a lesson from the Brooklyn-ites and finding my hustle. I’m talking take-every-opportunity-offered-plus-a-few-that-aren’t, the-word-no-is-not-in-my-vocabulary searching, trying everything until I find that one thing that feels like it’s my God (or insert deity of your choice here)-given talent. Step one: let go of people’s expectations of me. I’m never going to find my hustle if I’m worried that everything new is not what people expect or want from me. I want to do amazing things, have stories to tell my grandchildren, to look back and say, “Yeah, I had to make some sacrifices. But I did Every. Last. One. of the things that I really wanted to do.” (I heard a woman say that this morning and subsequently rearranged my life.) We’re in college! Try something new, be real with yourself, and suck the poison out of your life: it’s holding you back. I’m taking my own advice because I want need must have that BK sawgg, that knowledge deep down inside nothing can bring me down but me, and I refuse to start junior year without it.

And once I find it, I plan to dominate in everything life throws at me.

-Loren

Summer time...put your mind at ease

“Summmeeerrrrtttimmmeee and the livvinggsss easssyy” Yes, this is true—unless you’re still living in your past. Summer can be a beautiful time; a time of contemplation, growth, and reflection. But it can also be a tumultuous time mentally if you are still living in “what was” “what I did” and “what I should have done.” Take a second to reflect on your last year of life—is there something you’re still holding on to? Is there something you still haven’t let go of? The beautiful thing about the book of life is that every chapter is useful. Each word, each sentence, and most importantly, each PERIOD plays a substantial role in creating your story.

The summer before my Sophomore year, I was having a really difficult time closing some chapters. My mind was saturated in regret and bitterness—and it felt so heavy. The worst part about this mental burden was that I was inflicting it on myself. It was summer—I wasn’t surrounded by the people who had hurt me and disappointed me, but I constantly kept them with me, in my mind. It is hard, balancing being retrospective and progressive at the same time. But before school started in the Fall, I found “Sankofa.” Sankofa is an Akhan word from Ghana. It is associated with the proverb, “Se wo were fi na wosankofa a yenkyi," which translates in English to "It is not wrong to go back for that which you have forgotten. “ I was grateful for the proverb because it affirmed to me that it is ok to look back for wisdom and guidance. But the important part is, that you must only go back to use the past to gain knowledge for your future. This means, don’t go back to it to sulk, and be angry, and be upset and hurt—go back to learn.

There was a scientific study that was done that hooked track athletes up to brain monitors. First, they put the athletes on a treadmill and had them run a physical race. After they completed this task, they hooked them up to monitors again, but this time, they instructed them to sit down and run the race in their mind. The results showed that there was little to no difference between brain waves when the athlete was actually running and when he was just thinking about running. The brain still showed the same signs of adrenaline, excitement, and stress. Now, think of those moments and situations you keep reliving in your mind—do you know that every time you focus on the negative emotions of that moment, your body physically relives it? We all know the effects both negative and positive emotions can have on our physical health. Pull your body out of your mentally stressful environment—and stop replaying moments that you’ve already lived. You have to succeed in living now.

Each experience in life serves some purpose, and it is our responsibility as women to look at each experience as an opportunity to grow. This is easier said than done of course—so I put a permanent reminder of Sankofa on my left shoulder so that I would always be aware of the beautiful effect that my past hurts will have on my future. Now, I am not recommending that everyone goes out and gets a tattoo—permanent reminders can be physical or mental. I firmly believe that mental liberation comes from being in a constant state of gratefulness. My mom said, before I left to go to Hong Kong this summer, “If you can’t be thankful for what you have received, be thankful for what you escape.” I loved this because it tells me that no matter what state I’m in, there is always something to be grateful for. Chapters must end, so others can be written. Friends sometimes leave your life so others can enter. Love sometimes goes so greater love can be achieved. So let each breath be a prayer and allow each moment to be an opportunity.

The goal is to live in the present—but if you gotta look back, get something from it.

Until we meet again,
Keyaira